Friday!

There’s a new moon in Aries this weekend.

I always feel the full moons more than new ones, sometimes finding myself fragile and volatile for days in the build-up to them. When the moon's new, though, I'm lifted from that that wax and wane, a moment of respite and clean slate, a new year in miniature. The winter has been long and difficult, the weather, the feelings — it all weighed heavily. So this new moon feels in particular like a chance to draw a line under all that (seriously, how many more -15C days can there be?!)


I'm one of those people who does favourite things over and over. I can eat the same dinner for nights, I listen to songs and albums on repeat for weeks until they become so entwined with that time that whenever I listen to them, it's like uncorking a bottle of perfume. I reread certain books over and over (Unbearable Lightness, Middlemarch, Great Expectations, The Moon and Sixpence among my favourite rereads) and my bookspines are often cracked on a poem I reread even though I know it by heart and the words form in my mind before my eyes meet them on the page.

I've often thought that this joy I get from routine and repetition is connected with feeling generally unrooted. Or, perhaps it's because I'm always slightly nervous with new things. When things feel part of me rather than just being on a page or in the world, there's a sense of belonging, of melding with the material, that I don't get from things brand spanking new. But I never thought of it as childlike.

Sometimes, though, I bring routine and repetition to a deliberate halt. I've told you already I'm not going home this year. And this abstinence, it's making me see home and homesickness differently again. This intriguing evolution of my relationship with place, with the place I'm from. And Felicia is in Ireland right now and it's funny: I have this sense of ownership when I read her posts. My Home. My Turf. But knotted up with this feeling of letting it go, not needing to be there... I guess it's not the book I need to reread right now. But I also know it's there on the shelf, and I'll reach for it when I need to.

New moons are a good time for thinking about what should end and what should be embraced and what might be worth pausing to look upon differently... a good time to think about what you really want and need, whether that means going back to something old and familiar, or thinking about a new and perhaps scarier prospect.

Happy weekend, you guys!

5 comments:

  1. Oh I'm a re-reader and a re-watcher (I have about 10 movies I've seen many, many times, but I'm still happy with just watching them), and I never thought about it being childlike before either. I also get that feeling when I see photos from home, and although I haven't been away as long as you have, I'm fairly sure I always will. I'll try and take that advice this new moon - seeing as everything is topsyturvy at the moment anyway, it will be a good exercise.

    Best wishes!

    Sera

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  2. Late to the party... but this is such a lovely post. It relaxes me and makes me wish it was a Friday afternoon on a cool day, but not freezing, and I'm home. I think I know what you mean about repetition or routines and then switching it up.

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  3. Things always make a little more sense in hindsight when it comes to finding out about the moon. I have a few books i reread over and over, but I'm only allowed every other year so i don't just rush through it. I really like your blog.

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  4. I enjoy rereading books, rewatching movies, and eating favorite foods again and again. Like you, this doesn't mean nothing ends for me. I certainly end things. Although ending can be gratifying, it is never as fun as repeating the good stuff.

    Thank you for the link to Read It Again, Dad. I understand the daughter in this piece. It is not only children who struggle "to impose order on a strange place". I've felt this way most of my life.

    Most importantly, I like your moon.

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  5. Your words really touched me. I too am a creature of habit. I love the same books, movies, walking routes and foods, over and again, and it's a way to bring myself comfort and ease. I've recently ended my marriage and am faced with a completely new reality that is pushing me outside my comfort zone. It's such a pleasure to read your blog and follow along on the new things to come. You never fail to lift my spirits.

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